At a spiritual level, everything that happens to me is for me to evolve,
At an astrological level, everything happens because it is pre-ordained (either as a result of what we have already done (karma) or as a result of what we have planned (destiny – karaka janma),
At a human level, a lot of bad things happen because there is injustice in the world, because people who have a choice between right and wrong, often choose wrong because of their selfishness and insecurities.
While I may have no anger against a Tsunami because that is a “Natural Disaster”., I am angry with war-mongers and crooks, because I think that they can help themselves.
My emotion indicates to me that I believe that people have a choice, that people have free will. It may be limited, but it exists.
Therefore, there is a conflict in me. I believe in destiny and karma: but I also believe in free will. This is why I am angry with malevolent, sadistic, selfish people. This is why I am angry in a society which prefers incompetent manipulators to competent deliverers.
I know environment and genes shape people and the pressures they are under constrain their choices., but I know/believe that whenever a person chooses away from compulsions of nature, nurture and circumstances., and chooses to do what they believe is good, then nature herself will give way.
Good is the good of all. Not just the good of the majority and not just most of the time.
Today, I am burning at the injustice that has been done to me. I would like those who have wronged me, to burn in this flame of my anger and be reduced to ashes. Today, I believe in free will. Today, I believe that my enemies hurt me out of choice and intentionally. Today, I am unforgiving. Today, I would like the system that caused me so much pain, to be completely destroyed and completely replaced with a healthy and fair system.
Today, I checked my horoscope. So today, I believe in destiny and pre-ordained events. Today, I believe that good times are ahead.
Today, I spent time in meditation. So today, I connected with the God in my heart. Today, I believe, that all that happens to us is for us to evolve. Today, I believe that God is in all hearts and that he is the doer. This thought calms my heart and cools my fire. I am close to forgiveness.
Monday July 24, 2006 – 09:54am (PST)
