Speaking only in the urban context, but it is considered hard to find “good girls” today, much the same way mncs complain that its hard to get good hires and iits complain that its hard to get good guys for masters programs.
Girls today are raised to pass exams – as are the boys. And everyone knows that passing exams only qualifies you for a job interview or masters degree interview. It is not a life skill.
Boys and girls receive education about life from movies television books and each other. Hardly anything from adults of the species – who tell the kids to – go study!
One fine day, a “good girl” is married to a “good guy”. Till yesterday she thought chaste, dressed chaste and was respected and praised for being a 20+ year old virgin. Till yesterday, the boy was a pure, studious 25+ year old boy, raised to regard women as sisters and mothers.
Suddenly he has a woman of his own, but she wants to continue to be a chaste virgin, her brain cannot make the switch. Nature isn’t kicking in. Nurture and socialisation dominate. She views married life as unholy.
She wants to fall in love with her husband before the marriage is consummated. But he is no Ravi Teja and she is no Anushka. Both fall short of each others expectations.
One thing I’ve learned about falling in love is that the heart does not pick the “ideal” match.
The heart might pick a curly haired, honey eyed, dulcet voiced penniless artist or rake. Which parents won’t approve of.
So people say that “love matches” end in a divorce because attractive people may not make responsible life partners.
And responsible life partners like Surinder Sawney of Rab ne bana di jodi, hold no appeal for the new bride who possibly wishes to be swept off her feet by a dashing Clark Gable!
In the days gone by, ppl wd have stuck with it, no one expected much. One provided, the other served and like a pair of dutiful Jodu Eddulu They dragged the cart of their responsibilities to children, parents, relatives and society. And if nature granted mutual attraction, the couples were fortunate.
But now we all have expectations of fun and excitement, adventure and something wonderful. We all wish to live first for ourselves. To such an extent that someone like Sri Sri has to teach us the Art of Living!
Sri Rama’s mother Kaus’alya was unhappy that Dasaratha not only married the young and beautiful Kaikeyi but also spent all his time with her.
Unhappy marriages are as old as humanity. It does not matter on what basis the spouse is selected or by whom.
I guess the question is are u going to make the marriage that you have work? Or are you going to keep looking for the right spouse through life? Do “right spouses” exist?
Author : Satya Sarada Kandula : All Rights Reserved
Comments on: "Arranged marriages today." (2)
You said it all.
So true!