Great Expectations! Missed Buses!

I am sorry if I have hurt you again, through my own sense of inadequacy and underachievement.

It comes from very high expectations of myself, set by perhaps an overestimation of my abilities and my opportunities.

I have been surrounded from childhood by family, relatives and teachers who said that I had exceptional potential. I have been told that I am intelligent and talented and I have believed it sincerely.

I have never questioned whether the ‘appreciators’ were biased by their love for me!

My work has been rated as Outstanding at work only 3 times in a career of 20+ years! The rest of the time my managers were mostly averagely happy and on 2 occasions unhappy! I have always thought that my critics were biased by self-interest or jealousy.. or what have you.

 

M.S. Subbalakshmi

I have a great desire to be great! And to be recognised as great! But I do have multiple interests and multiple responsibilities and so I keep having to take time away from the one for the other. I have to take time away from work for family and from family for work and from both for my self…

Will I ever be great? Perhaps not.

But I hope that I will not feel jealous of your achievements, your talents and your opportunities and your commitment, even for a minute.

You see my “downness” has nothing to do with you.. Your success reminds me of what I think I could have been under different circumstances…. but which I am not, and cannot be in the time that is left for me on this planet.

So good luck and god bless! both you and me!